When I started this blog, weight loss and triathlons were my primary motivator. At that time I weighed close to 320 pounds and had a 52/54 inch waist and could not run more than a few seconds or swim more than a few meters. Since that time things have changed. I completed a triathlon and I feel like I am in the best shape of my life. For a while I had dropped down to 300 pounds and eventually gotten down to a semi-tight 46/48 inch waist. That was months ago, I have not budged on the scale or the waist line since.
After my initial triathlon I realized that if I wanted to be faster and a better more efficient triathlete more weight had to go. I still had a noticeable stomach area(accentuated by the tight tri-top I was wearing) and I had stopped loosing inches and weight months ago. The second awakening came days later when I saw the above photograph from the event. I realized even more that it was time to re-examine my food and exercise plan and that it was time to take a look at some difficult truths. I did not realize it, but for several months I had fallen back to old habits of making excuses and not being honest with the person who matters most, myself.
Growing up I often wrapped my overweight and out of shape body in the excuse of being naturally big. It had nothing to do with the fact I had no interest in being outdoors or watching the food I was shoveling into my mouth. Later it I would wrap it in the excuse of marriage and the natural depletion of this institution’s visual safety. When I took a gander at the picture I immediately asked myself ‘Hey, have I done everything in my power to be slimmer and faster and look better on race day?’ The answer was a resounding NO!
That honesty set things in motion. I realized I had not tracked my food in months and often I used the excuse of burning tons of calories for seriously poor eating habits. I often ate terribly un-nutritious food that did little to feed my body and give me the nutrients I required. Frequently I probably ate fewer calories than required, otherwise I just ate junk. Do not get me wrong, I still love pizza and all the good bad food, but I realize I need to limit it and account for it in my diet. I had not gained weight, but I stayed mostly around the low 300s. Some weeks I would drop to 296 or so, just to shoot back up to 302-305 for weeks. I stopped taking monthly pictures as they showed little improvement yet I felt fitter, I did not want to face the truth. In the end the honest truth lied in the fact I had no one to blame but myself. The truth hurts, but sometimes you just have to face it to push forward.
This resulted in my new focus in my goals in tracking my food and calories and watch my intake. Already in a few days it feels like my belt and pants are a little looser, I have remained steadily around 296 pounds and I am starting to feel lighter. Maybe its psychosomatic, but I feel the measures I am taking will point me to the right path. If anything, when I ask myself if I did what I needed to do to see the results I wanted, I can say yes. It was a difficult realization and the picture I am sharing is my motivation to get my nutrition in order. Its time to not just feel fit and great, but to look it. Its time to push things to the next level and be further accountable to myself. Its time to go to work. Til next time.